Weigt Watchers...again

I have yet again managed to avoid actually posting on my blog. But I am not giving up. I accomplished a lot this semester. But somehow it never seems like enough. Is anything ever enough? Sometimes it feels like my needs are a bottomless pit. My grades are never good enough. My habits are never good enough. My closet is never full enough.

I am going to try to focus on the positive for a minute. This semester, I took 3 courses and proposed my dissertation. I just submitted my list of internship sites to my Director of Training. This could be amazing. But I am still pretty miserable. I have committed to the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, and I have already raised $740. I need to raise $1060 more. My fundraiser is back home this weekend--a tea party on Saturday. I am hopeful that my dearest friends and family will help me reach my goal.

Here I go slipping back into the negative...but, I haven't been training nearly as hard as I should. And I feel fat. How am I supposed to go ask people to raise money for health looking the way that I do? How am I supposed to be a psychologist and convince people they should be healthy (inside and out) when I look this way? I can't even go shopping anymore. And that is a true tragedy. I look into Anne Taylor and see all these pretty sun dresses...and I know I cannot wear them. How depressing.

Then there is my mother. She has been working her butt off (literally) for 3.5 years and has managed to lose 60 pounds. I am so proud of her. She told me this weekend that when she thinks she cannot do it, she remembers why she joined in the first place. I was in the middle of wedding preparation, and I was going to Weight Watchers. Apparently, I told her, "Just do it, Ma. Just do it." Simple words. Yet effective. I mean, even Nike knew a good thing...they trademarked it. So here I am, 25 years old, on the verge of finishing graduate school, and I need to take my own advice. I just signed up for my Monthly Pass. I will be going to my first meeting Friday.

Just do it, Christa. Just do it.